心情

每天每天
准时
起床
工作
午餐
继续工作
回家
晚餐
追戏

每天每天
日复一日
月复月


有点乏味
有点厌倦
有点无趣


工作每天都有新事物学习
人际关系继续孤僻不合群


想家了~~
一直很感恩
有个愿意分享的她
无须主动关心也能让我知道的她
有她在家
心里放心很多
她会隐藏自己
但不会隐藏家人


正直会考期
你正走的姐走过了
你想走的姐也经历过了
也许残忍也许无情
世事并不能尽都如愿
总要学着什么事务在什么时候该提起， 该放下
这会是我们一生的功课


最近
也有点茫然
人生漫无目的
能说的对象有谁
能给与意见的有谁
能扶你一把的有谁


走进社会
形形色色的人
带着面具的
尔虞我诈的
咱人便宜的
假心假意的
翻面比翻书还快的


职场上要找知己? 天真
生活上互相依靠? 有谁
烦闷了尽情疯狂? 多余


为何只懂得悲天悯人
为何单单拆穿人性丑陋
为何放纵
为何随意
为何在乎
为何证明


真想潇洒点
真想少计较点
真想别小心眼
真想多付出点
真想多为他人多想想


却发现慢慢受伤
慢慢无法视而不见
渐渐离开
渐渐消失不见

渐渐就没人记得了
渐渐也不会记得了。。。。。。

2014

Here
a long time for my return

is a truely new year for me.
from teenager into adult
move from school life into social life


工作篇
Erm.....
进入了自己想进入的领域
舒适的环境
友善的工作伙伴
完美的地点
发挥所长的工作性质
Future prospect 却不太乐观
右边邻居说有点不被appreciate
后方邻居却说每人的观点与要求不同
Confusing@@
虽然不解，但起码现在的我是开心的
还没
人事纷争
官场相斗
高层情绪失控
mmm...
总归一句
还可以吧  ^^

虚伪的人生

所有事情排山倒海
喜欢的
不喜欢的
喜欢但做得不开心的
不喜欢却要做得好的
明明不关事却被逼插一脚的


压力
窒息
想逃。。。
却躲不过时间的逼近
想好好面对
却累与人事沟通


如果一个人可以完成
如果不需要同伴
如果小小的力量也足以撑起
但如果就真的只能是如果


心情持续焦虑
情绪不停失控


找不到真正的出口宣泄
只能不停看戏，听歌+抱怨


还敢常常自称EQ很高
抗压性超强！
真的是太高估自己了

虚伪的人生==

Arghhhhghghg

sometimes...
caring is just kind of waste
as u take k of ppl's need
they just bull off

is wiser to be cool and cold either
as i usually be
but~~ who should be the one i should care of if he is not the one??!!!

is recently tired in working
when ppl are lazy and not efficient at all
not they cannot be
but lazy to be!


is missing beach and sea~
after watching the updated running man
crystal clear sea water and the amazing aquatic creatures


really wan to throw away all the stupid and bull shit world stuffs!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Arghhhhhhhhhghghghg

To Myself

今夜在传道家聚餐

志不在食物，而是联谊

这一夜

对许多同工有了更深一层的认识

也对自己感到无比羞愧

自从Form 5离开家乡后

就离神越来越远

当年的我

很火热的侍奉

对神的话语渴慕的心态

现今已销声匿迹

没有了一群可以讨论，扶持，吵闹的朋友

在这条布满荆棘的路上

渐渐孤独

matrix有他的陪伴

还不至于毫无依靠

来到大学后

完全没人陪伴

虽然知道服侍的对象是神

但身在人群中

抵不住孤单寂寞

虽然知道应该自己主动去关心人

而不是等人的关心

但不擅于表达social的attitude

making my step heavier and heavier day by day

lots of opportunities approach me since my entering!

one by one~ i juz keep on rejecting

at last~ taking some of the serving tis sem BUT

didnt think tat i do help up any

even the relationship between god and me!

听到看到别人的成长

感到欣慰和开心

却也为自己着急

什么时候才可以不依赖人而仰望神?

何时才能单单定睛在神而不考虑自己的不足?

久违了

终于忙完功课了
对于爱玩爱闹
不爱孤独不爱麻烦的我来说
乖乖认真面对功课和assignments真的很困难
至少我成功了~~hweeeeeee

教会的事工有点无力
虽然参与了
但并不觉得有帮到大家什么
也不擅于PR
有点融不进的感觉
唉。。。无力改变的事实


最近
特别觉得无力和寂寞
有些事不能说出口
有些时不想一个人
有些想放纵时找不到出口
有些想呆在人群淹没自己时
觉得自己蠢毙了


家人逛街，聚餐，甜品时
自己都远在他乡
真怀疑当初铁了心来西马读书值不值得


final又来了
整个sem真的匆匆忙忙就要结束了
整个sem最开心的应该就是假期的热浪岛之旅


想念海洋沙滩了~~~~~~~~

i m really childish and innocent
i wan to be mature
really....
but i duno how.....

bluffing everywhere
never came out with conclusion
bring pain to each other
but things didnt went smooth either

I m juz nothing.....

这个sem

回来四个星期了
生活只能用忙....忙...忙.....来形容~~~~~


课业篇
这个SEM真的很忙
大学生涯以来
最忙的一次了
每科都有assignment
每科每天都有做不完的功课
很庆幸有一群在一起的朋友
可以互相帮忙，互相分担
我不懂的愿意教我
我missed了的，会告诉我
我忘了的，会时时提醒我^^


教会篇
挣扎了很久
考虑了很久
衡量了很久
终于决定接下这份事工
担心自己与同工间的配搭
害怕自己缺乏领导力做得不好
更担心自己一直以来的说话技巧
也许伤害了你
刺痛了你
但都是想将事工做得更好
真的盼望大家可以同心
更期许自己可以走出阴影
将这份事工完整做好


爱情篇
这个学期
我俩都很忙
我忙着教会和学业
你忙着fyp和比赛
虽然少了电联的时间
那几天的相处...够了=)
要坚强的走下去
再累再不可能的research都有结束的一天
一个月。。。。
熬完它吧.....
加油!!!!! aza!!!!!



有时忙碌
有时疲倦
有时真的累了
只要时时保持乐观开朗的心
深知神何时何地都在引领陪伴
日子就会开心许多了 ^^

Piano bright up my day~~~

is a boring afternoon....
hvn recover from the shock result @.@
watch movie until sienz jor
then go kolegiat to play piano
very enjoy in my own world
play whatever i like 
sing all along


we are the painter in our own life.....
if u paint it dull...
be sure u will only experienced black and white
if u paint it colourful
definitely u will satisfied and enjoy ur day always
no regret and no dullness


today~~
i painted it great
thus i had a comfortable and relaxing afternoon
with notes flying all around
feeling great!!!!!


and SHE
cutely told me she was all around to listen from me!!!
blame me somemore as i dont share with her....
truly ~~
i seldom share....
especially those made me emo and uncomfortable
i prefer write it out instead of talk it out
is already my style......
mayb i will try but i doubt on my ability...><
hoho~~~~~~~

原来也不过如此

好失望 好失望

也许观念不同    默契不足

几年过去

有了一点改变  进化

仍然不足。。。至少我是这样觉得的

我不是敢爱敢恨的

喜悦容易与人分享   前提是他们愿意听  

烦恼和不满永远都是自己吞

咽不住了就只有在这里发泄了

我有自己的原则

自认为很了解自己

知道自己要什么    追求什么

爱玩爱热闹爱疯狂      甚至偶尔有点神经质

若你不是我一类的

就请离我远一点

你的文静  情绪化  善变

受够了

不值的。。。

我再也不会在乎

Millionaire Life Camp at Botanical Garden

have a great camp for 3 days

 escape myself from all those assignments

and the boring uni while city life

feel relieve in such natural phenomenon
the fresh air, dripping leaves and the cool weather
so as watching residents riding bicycle freely along the pathway
totally match my hill life..haha

even i dun like those mosquitoes which make me itchy all the way round

and those monkeys jumping here and there
but its acceptable when i m accompany with repellent

learnt a lot in this camp

most probably we have to seize on religion

not money, authority nor reputation
all these are meaningless as we cannot bring any into heaven



got a chance visiting to 4 season house before we came bek
is Autumn period now

 

colourful flora

a bit blurr...coz behind the mirror....is a small hut with windmill

what a autumn feeling

the most i like..dun it feel like western country?? ^^

 this is the machine they use to maintain the cool temperature during autumn
even a bit ugly

my lovely groupmates
glad to have u all
and we are the best超动感team!!!
and the superactive team as well...
hahahahaha
u guys had successfully cheer up my day...^^
give thanks

this few days~~

gotta feeling to study
but still
some of the class are too boring in deed


Mr. econometric!!!
can u juz talk to the point...
i m keeping blurr as u are jumping all the way round
talk about ur story and talk all u liked...
i m totally agree u are a professional lecturer
pro in lecture nonsense and rubbish
mayb some of the point (juz sometimes)
==lll


Mr. micro!!
i do see ur hardwork and humour
but...
we are totally not in the same channel
and the slides are short and simple enough somemore
i m wondering hw could i keep awake in ur class T.T


i really aim to be a gud gal tis sem
keep awake in class
do all my works
attending all the classes
i m really aiming for these


but juz a week passed
i m getting bored
getting tired


i m missing penang indeed
the seashore
the hill

Learning

learn to love and to be loved
learn to care and to be cared
learn to serve and to help
learn to not be alone while trying to squeeze into community


i know i am just small for everything
but with a hard work..
i will manage!!!
a new sem and a new life ^^

=)

is having good mood tis few days.....
everything get bek to normal....^^


i duno whether is worth....
but i juz cant give up at tis moment


let's work hard for all these
i believe we will have a gud journey

................................................

输了。。。。
彻彻底底的。。。。
输给了亲情
赔了爱情
失去了自己


不是努力就会有结果
不是坚持就可以到最后
不是妥协就可以海阔天空
更不是一句句的承诺就可以得到幸福


够了。。。。
一段段的刻骨铭心
够了。。。。
一直想要走到最后的心态


totally赞成师母当年说的
但我做不到
永远都做不到了


也许没那么投入就不会如此痛心
也许没那么认真就可以洒脱点


虽然失去了我这辈子最努力守护的~
再痛心的当儿
昨晚的我。。。
还是幸福
因为有家人的陪伴
谢谢妹。。。
试图对我疯言疯语，让我忘记疼痛
谢谢哥。。。
bcoz u are sis....and we are tough and smart enough...sure u can~~~
谢谢妈。。。
不时进来房间偷窥，只为了确定女儿还好好的
也谢谢媚。。。
第一时间的安慰


我并不是一无所有
虽然没了依赖的肩膀
但我还有最珍贵的亲情，友情and Father in Lord...........

CHOICE

family and beloved

how to choose

but y we need to choose??

if cnt achieve a balance

plz escape me

if u cnt escape

plz promise me

i need a lot a lot of strange and courage

to lie and comfort myself

console myself

i need an arm to rest in

just one

but where it is

maybe u need it more

but can i help

i m wondering

in time 

i cant make use of all these

then how should we goes through

izit time can prove all

or instead of time

nothing can explain

1st day~~

1st day....
no reply~~~
no answer~~~
no comment~~~~

已厌倦

不知如何看待我们的关系
我们已回不去从前
恨透现在的无力感
有些事情不是努力就有结果
我已经很努力很努力
仍然看不到成效


你说不要想未来
只要现在开心就好



但现在
不止看不见未来
难过却也大过开心



有些事情一直想说出口
却一再压抑
深怕覆水难收



但我。。。。。
又有谁可倾诉！！！！

When we were met!!!!

we were met after half years

even we were separate

far from each other

we are still in HEART!!

COOL CAPS!!!

souveniers from dear rabbit

for our 21st memory

love it very much^^

posing with our caps

dont we look cute??

kakakaka

missing of dear crocodile

who had missed our gathering...

staying in New Zealand

fighting for her future

DEAR CROCODILE

although we are not together in real

but u are always in our heart....

counting for ur day bek!!!

hehe